Hi Love,

It's been a while.

I'm ready now... a slow emergence that has been building back over the past year.  I've been tapped out here to tune in deeper for the healing that my own being has been navigating.  Astrologically I've been in 32 month initiation of the Underworld that ends the day of my 40th birthday next year. Initiations always come with death... whether that's symbolic or literal- I've experienced both more times than I can count.

When I explained to my husband, that I knew this time would be where I was going to be facing & navigating some of my deepest root woundings & belief systems to unravel them and bring them back to truth and love & it was going to be intense, he said "Whats new?" to which I had to respond.....

 Because the work I do with others, is always first and foremost in my own life.  It isn't the easiest work... but there's no denying in my being it's the work that I'm here to do, and the alchemy & transformation within it, which the only way is THROUGH.

Initiations are a natural part of life, even though we may not always recognize them as such. Sometimes, it may seem like the challenges we face have no clear reason behind them. Especially as we've been taught & reinforced to believe that when things seem "wrong" or "not working," it's a reflection of our own worth or value. But in reality, these challenging experiences hold valuable wisdom. 

When faced with challenges, we are presented with the chance to develop a deeper understanding of ourselves and the world around us.  It's through the shit, that gives us a deeper understanding. More than something book learned or theorized, our experiences hold transformative potential both inside & out. 

In essence, difficulties are not meant to break us down; they are meant to build us up. They offer us the opportunities in learning, evolving, and becoming wiser individuals. Because aspects of our being & experiences don't ever really go away, rather our relationship & understanding to it & of it is meant to transmute.  Challenges are opportunities to go DEEPER, to continue learning, growing & evolving beyond what we've experienced, seen, known & understood. Through this process alchemy occurs, & we discover new strengths and capabilities that we may not have realized before.

The breaking is breaking open to more

THERE IS ALWAYS MORE

In the journey of life, the challenges we face can be seen as initiations that lead to growth and transformation. Just like a seed breaking open to sprout, these initiations signify a shift from what we know to what we are becoming. We don't have to figure it all out on our own; there is an innate intelligence guiding us.

Just as a tree in winter appears dormant but is actually storing and gathering life force within, our own breaking down and decaying experiences can provide nourishment and wisdom for ourselves and those around us. It is through these breakdowns that we can access more of ourselves, more love, and a deeper understanding of who we are. 

Taking the time to process our experiences holds immense value. It's not just about reflecting on the journey itself, but also about understanding what we have gained from it. This integration of our experiences is crucial because it influences and contributes to what we are currently creating in our lives.

When we experience challenges, it is our innate intelligence signaling us to pay attention to the communication systems within us. It is an invitation to be present and move forward in a sustainable way, rather than operating from a state of being drained & overwhelmed by past experiences and belief systems that keep us separate from ourself, from LOVE. 

EVERYTHING IS INTERCONNECTED

In the healing journey, this is where our presence in the shit are truly presents to all timelines.  It's not about having to agree with what's happened, but rather to process & integrate it, so that one can retrieve their own truth, soul & gifts from those timelines & not leave them operating from a fractured/wounded state. 

Personally, 

When this cycle of the initiation of the underworld began for me, at first it was like "Oh, fucking great! Another one..."

 After processing for some time, I decided I was going to willingly surrender.  To step into & meet it with the presence of my being.  To lean into the deep VOID & meet what came in the unknown.

And it's been a process of dying in so many realms, including moments feeling like I am physically dying or am going to. So far, through that.. what I've been met with is the dying of deep rooted exhaustion & depletion in my physical body from multiple miscarriages over the years, and deep rooted belief systems in the way I work with energy & how it runs through my system.  

When I was growing up, I wasn't safe in my environment- and this led to a lot of survival through cleaning up other's energy fields through my own in order to be safe. I wasn't aware of this consciously then, the only thing I knew was the energetics & energy constantly running through me. Even though I knew it was coming from outside of me, I wasn't aware that I could separate it from myself, and as a child I didn't have a choice then.  This aspect was a deep entanglement of micro-chords of energy that would spread my energy thin & drain my life force. 

This past year, I've been calling it my "BOUNDARY AS FUCK" year.  To be in the present, To BE PRESENT,  revisiting and re-assessing the micro-chords of deep belief systems in my body, mind, emotions & spirit around energy. It's been diving into all the micro-chords where my love and intentions were entangled in these patterns, and my life-force was spread thin. A presence within the most minute vibrations running through, allowing wounds to transmute into wisdoms.

Being an open channel is a part of my deepest woundings, but it's also a part of my deepest gifts. It's been a lifetime of learning & integrating healthy boundaries, & discernment of how I co-create with energy, which there is always a practice of refinement. 

 I've said "NO" more than ever... Because I want to make sure that what I say "Yes" to- I actually have the energy for.  I want to be present in what I do vs trying to do everything from a place of depletion... or thinking that's how I can share the most love.   

Death is always simultaneously creating space for the birthing of new energy.  It's been a part of coming back to my own center, coming back to the sacredness within presence & a return to heart- so the ways I move, connect, create & give can be from that space.  

 Through this, I was led to so much of what has been wanting to be birthed through my work as well. Over the past year, instead of operating from the "need" or "push" to get it done... I let myself be guided by my own internal rhythms, and I didn't plan it, but last weekend as I celebrated the birth of my daughter's 11th birthday, I also birthed a whole new website with updated energy offerings, and there's more in the works coming from such a space of renewed life & energy.  The significance, reflected by my daughter's beautiful life... left me in tears. 

I am so excited and grateful to share all that has been brewing.  Thank you for being a part of this journey.

🤍🤍🤍

In Love and Light

As Above, So Below

Jenn